I just need to stay focused and keep being disciplined

Sometimes a fresh start is all someone needs or even a change me scenery. I hate come to realise that me still being at good staying with my parents is poisonous to my health, my fathers drinking is driving everyone insane and all those other reasons stated in my previous update on the blog also forms part of it. I hate alot that I can do and want to do, but the fact that I am here holds me back and it doesn't help me in anyway. I have never had a safety net like any of the other kids my dad has never strived for anything in his life we still staying in this crap hole so I think it is time for me to make my own safety net because I don't want to end up like him, so I say it is time for the loner to start walking and leave it all behind and start a fresh... I don't know where or when I an I am going to be starting a fresh, but I am going to have to do it soon.

I have set the standard...

I recently rediscovered something that well I have known all along and that is the force that driver of to where I am going to be soon. I spoke about or rather wrote about the whole natural selection process where only the top bracket of the dna gene pool gets to do what they want in life and get to achieve that, well that is a load of bollocks, I am good enough! I am this way cause of doubts instilled in me by my father, reason being that my father is not competitive by nature non confrontational he is everything I am not. I am tall, athletic, competitive, motivated, driven, aggressive and the one thing that stands out is the fact that I am a risk taker and a loner. I don't fall in favour with women because I am not safe, I am no safety net or even security, I need only please me and nobody else. So now with my dreams knocking no my door I am going to make that jump. Life is there for the taking...

Live Free or Die

I realized how important freedom is today after giving someone a lecture about how we all start of as slaves and how some of up remain slaves all our lives. We all make a conscious decision in life as to where we take our lives, even though some people believe it is pre destined by a higher being as it imprinted in our dna... I would like to think otherwise, I would like to think that I am in charge of where my life is going and that my determination and drive decide where I am headed. I on the other hand don't dismiss the motion completely that our lives aren't pre destined because there aren't enough careers to cater for everyone and he everyone were successful there wouldn't be enough places for everyone. I purpose this all comes back to the whole process of natural selection where only the strongest animals survive get to mate and enjoy the best life within a natural habitat. I have seen this happen and I refuse to sit down or even lie down without a fighting for a better life so today I live free...

What to do?, decisions, decisions, decisions...

I am taking this opportunity to vent my frustrations a little this morning go regards with my cas accident claim and I hope that God hears me today and answers my anguish with some positive response as far as my financial situation is concerned. I need to note no as far as that is concerned, I can't wait for life to happen anymore I have to make it happen, so today I am taking this time to thank and also to vent and i know that when you ask and strongly believe that you will receive, so patiently I sit here and wait for some good news the signs are all there so let it be. Later Bloggers!

Okay now that was shocking... by The Outsiders

I wonder how many people sometimes watch tv and sees themselves and their friends go the characters go their favorite show? I just saw some things and it resembled of and the people go this town... I see my ex girlfriend and her past coming back to haunt her I am there as Brooklyn, another friend I know as Epic who came out the closet, his Sister Serena it is really weird are these things that will still happen or am I purely worried about coincidental fictional characters or are they very factual that we are living out some of these these scenes go the present time from some writers past dreams? I seem to think there is more than just meet the eye involved here and some of the characters are not placed yet in their ideal roles, maybe the next time I come back to this town they'll be acting out their roles, for one I enjoy my role as the outsider and they all seem to gravitate towards me, seems like my blog name, maybe more suited than I had planned. I think I shall have to write a role for my alcoholic bff

Am I a choker? or is it just my lack of big match temprament...

So I am a really good soccer player always have been except the fact that I seem to choke up at times or is it just the fact that I have on big match temprament? I have always had some anxiety attacks but to a minimum and the only thing that has always helped of helped of was to think of something good that was going to happen after that present event or music and I have become less and less anxious as I have matured and it is time to finally step up my game. I have played against many guys and I always seem to perform at my best well I think it is time to not try my best but to do it and actually become great. I am doing it now it's time for add and time to prepare myself for an early morning jog, Later Bloggers!

The weeks go by slowly

Monday morning and I seem to be loosing my mind for the past few weeks I had books go which I could lose or submerge my mind today I am left to my own sanity which is somewhat questionable at times, so I should try and not think so much it feels like this is going to be one of those insanely long days or infact a long week hope ,well lets not hope for it to pass by so quickly, I want to savour this one. So here's to a good week on the grind! Later Bloggers!